im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
