I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My penis needs a shock collar
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
