please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
