O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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