she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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