You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
