woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
