she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
