All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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