Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You are a genius and a whore.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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