eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
