If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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