please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
