I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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