Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
