He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
the liver wants what the liver wants
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize