I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
