Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
