I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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