you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
