My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
