Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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