i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
