Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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