having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
