was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
