You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
