I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
