At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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