Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I licked your asshole in confidence.