I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.