so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
