dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
