did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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