Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
