Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
