yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you can't waste a boner
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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