I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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