she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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