ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So many bounce houses so little time
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
