Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
