I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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