just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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