i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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