I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize