Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
