i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
