...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
