The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
