You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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