so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize