dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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