My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
