How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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