i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize