I didn't shave. On purpose
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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