You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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