good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
