I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
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Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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