I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
