yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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