When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
