Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
