Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
