Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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