planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
