News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
