I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
