okay pat passed out under dana's car
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
