he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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