States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
