i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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