I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
